Lite[r]

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Pessimism 'kills' naturally; however, assuming the role of pessimists in situations where you can't define or accurately tell what the future holds in relationships is key. A pessimist believes and foresees the tendency for the worst to happen even before they occur. He could smell the dead rat before it was killed. In truth, no one wants to see pessimists or assume it, yet we always play the role of pessimists in relationships. Of the common ones is love relationships. Does this make you a bad person? Oh no! You are not. You are just a human who wants to find reasons to love even when it is not convenient.

Hey, you, are you saying I am in a relationship inconvenience!? That's not what I'm saying. I meant that the power of love compels us to love sometimes unconditionally. Thus, pessimism is a state of weariness in a relationship. No one would admit this because the word "pessimism" sounds harsh and so uncalled for. Sit and 'lemme' explain...

Initial 'gra gra' in a relationship will motivate you to go the extra mile(s) for your partner. Often, you wouldn't mind absurd things for them. The tempo of your love is high and obviously can't go down. But how do we explain the weariness or the feeling of tiredness? Is it your partner? Or the feeling of boredom in the relationship? Well, sometimes it is none of the above. Suffice to say that your partner couldn't have been the problem but the "pessimistic syndrome" in the form of weariness or tiredness. Hence, "pessimistic syndrome" in this context or article means the state of tiredness.

It is like some people to feel tired. This set of people would always reiterate that they are tired even when they aren't stressed in any way. Also, when they have everything working out for them. They can't just trace why they feel the way they feel. Yet, these people crave relationships and cannot sustain them. People with this syndrome find it hard to keep relationships, and as their nature is, they only get to enjoy the thrills of a relationship for a while before they begin to react.

The efficient way to keep dealing with this feeling of tiredness is to:

• Spice your relationship up.
• Collaborate with your partner or friend to help overcome your pessimistic syndrome.
• Let them know what interest you and find ways to navigate through them. 

Positive Relationship Breaks: this might get out awkward, but taking a break in your relationship can help you evaluate your personality while you are with your partner and helps to discover yourself and how to do better in the relationship. I read somewhere that "love goes on holiday" (this idea sounds scary as it can lead to a breakup if not carefully handled). 

Erase unrealistic expectations. Expectations of what you want your partner to be can often make you feel tired, especially when they don't meet up with what you have stored up in your head. Separate your expectations from the person and enjoy what your partner can do for you positively. 

Thrive to become a better version of yourself. We are often not engaged; we tend to focus on our partners. Change the narrative and engage yourself in something tangible that would make your partner or friends love you more and value you.

You must take care of this feeling if you've noticed this feeling of tiredness. There are no strict rules or ways to overcome it, but with these a few points, you can defeat the feeling before it deprives you of a good relationship and friendship. However, the best way to deal with this is communication. Let your partner know you tend to feel tired, and together, you both, like lovers or a group of friends, can overcome the cost of losing each other to 'pessimistic syndrome.'

By Boluwatife Oladipo

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The next time you look at yourself and/or everything and you feel (bad as you) have got nothing to be thankful for, try and do everything for the remaining of that day with a part of yourself. For instance, walk to the market/downtown on one leg, blindfold yourself and see movies, eat solid foods without having to chew. This will remind you how ingratitude you have been come this far. 

It seems to me we tend to quickly forget about the things we have already, lost in our ‘lust’ for more –the things we have deemed as our needs as we exist. Although, needing and wanting more will always remain with humanity as long as there is life and time. This has been (with us) even before the beginning of time as we know it –that is by the way. Hence, that is no news –shouldn’t be surprising desiring is in-built with everyone.

However, what should seem surprising is that most of us live and we forget to remember the things we have which others are longing to have even as we are yet longing to have what others have, we don’t have. In-between this cognizance or understanding is where a space for appreciation and thanksgiving could be found or should come in. Just like you standing in the middle of a parted ocean, to your right and left.

When it comes to possession or acquisition of whatever, name it –properties such as cars, houses, monies, and the likes and other things abstraction such as meekness, sagacity, ‘health related status’ and so forth, even as you feel you lack behind in any of them, there are those having less of what you have and are appreciative. The bigly sense in this is all about seeing a good reason to be contented in the present moment naturally even as you are practically longing for improvement. Anything other than that will mean, no matter what you have, appreciating yourself and any other external agent, your Maker, human helper(s) or influencer(s) for instance, will be very hard no matter what more feat you add as time advances.

You see, living a life of appreciation is a lot healthier than not. When you feel appreciated, or are appreciated you naturally glow inside out. Compare when you aren’t appreciated or there is nothing like appreciation at all, it will taste lifeless –imagine that. Thank others; thank yourself. 

Always find a reason to be thankful to yourself and external parties even when occasion doesn’t call for that. It helps the psyche better than the otherwise. It helps to heal the world in a little way than leaving it as it is or making it much worse. A life that is filled with thanksgiving doesn’t imply such life is perfect and no problems at all, it implies such life is reasonable enough to understand that we will never have everything we need but we can always have reasons to be thankful and appreciative if we can stop our chasings and look back or around us to note those who have less what we have in abundance. 

©Jodekss

My mother trades goods that mostly kids buy. She has been doing this as far back as when I was still milking (I suppose).

She has a legacy in this business which has just occurred to me it is unique. Right from the time I have known her has my mother and understood her trading business system, I have known her PLACING PRICES OF GOODS ON THE GOODS THEMSELVES. The goods could be COWBELL SATCHET, BISCUITS and all that. As long as they could be written on, she would take her time to write on them the prices, BOLD.

I believe even maybe without her knowing it, unconsciously, she knows there are some goods whose prices always fluctuate here. So, it could be 20 Naira today and next week, it is 25 Naira. To avoid confusion on her side and that of the buyers', she would use MARKER to write the prices on them as long as they keep fluctuating. So, a buyer would know and pay without any unnecessary bargaining which might make her 'vex' for such a buyer.  

With that system, even when she is unavailable in person to sell, anyone could sell for her without selling lower or higher than the actual price.

This is her own legacy in her business. Yes! This is one of the things she is known for. When she is not around to sell by herself and she forgets to write the prices, I would complain that it is unlike her because it is not her legacy business-wise.

This attribute of my ma could be integrated to our every-day lifestyle I guess, that we should always remember the necessity of good LEGACY and act one.

It is advisable to have a legacy which people would crave to emulate and/ or practise even in your absence.

Let's say you are 'A' -- let's say you are not there, be a kind of 'A' who would make people to gather together, and inquire '''A' is not around, what could 'A' have done, say or posit in this situation?'' And there would be suggestions based on your legacy when you were around.

Nothing more is as beautiful in life than being remembered for a good legacy (thing) in your absence.

This is another lesson mom has taught me, not my lecturer now. So, I should say thank you mom and much love to mom.

Build something peculiarly awesome to you and to you alone and make the world to remember it until the world ends.

© Jodekss

Image © 2014.

The two of you with manhood, pendulums at the centre of your U
Between your legs lie your lying brains maybe may be May
Your birth is May then death day may be another Friday of your 'feBuahri'
And your day(s) are close away your way(s) I'll feint till you faint
Taint with putrid saint, put and rid saint your argument, your celibate success rated into some fallen caliphate
Are shamefully fine yet to yourselves you seem fine but you are not fine very fine
And you are 'you' who's not worth a 'were' but 'was' as I in condescending surge
Of muse then condemn the damn inside your con
The sickly delirious argue inside your argument as its -ment is not Christ-ment - you two are no Christ-men
Christ-men even are: rather fat or fined, rich like Richard or screeching, possessed like ogrish Mitch
In success or sickness, in plenty or penury which peppers like pepper
In knowledge or foolishness, on curse badge or topping of Guinness gee!
In loss or... or... or lost with lust or thieves thieving thieves things at all cost
Hellenic pinchers in Jews who don't pay their tithes
Snakes who eat the millions or the mighty money munching machine monkeys in zoo
All the worst sins since are better than these sick sons, Christ-men
Good Christ ians don't make noise of their spirit worth, angels skank  loud their ought South-North
Their mellow spirits remain down in their dearly deeds and earth goes soften for their legs to gain and gain again and again

You are not close to an apostle but faking taking iyán done of their mortar and pestle, òṣì.
You are a shame with your game of wanting fame with noisy religious kettle
You and you are yaw and yaw - filth to the cross and disgrace to the course
For you have both sworn not to change, you are devil's by force.

©Odunayo Areyemi Feb/27/2018 5:06 PM